you're gone

  Is there a cure for heartbreak?
  Can anyone stop the pain it causes?
  Is it meant to hurt this much now you're gone?
  Was what we had really love?
  It felt like it but maybe now I'll never know,
  Because you're gone,
  I'll never get to hold your hand again,
  And I'll never hear your voice,
  While I'm still alive,
  Because you're gone,
  Left me alone,
  While you're in heaven,
  I'm in my very own version of hell,
  Because it's hell living without you,
  I can't breath without you,
  And I can't smile without you,
  Or laugh without you here,
  I always dream about you,
  And I always see your smile,
  It makes me sad,
  It makes me cry,
  I hate not having you by my side.

This poem is dedicated to Lewis Tilton!
Best Friend and Love Of My Life!
Rest In Peace!

all yours

  People don't understand why I never smile,
  They don't understand why I can't laugh,
  No one will ever know how much you meant to me,
  They'll never see the real me,
  The me you saw,
  The one that you held close,
  The one you kissed just once,
  No one else will see that me ever again,
  Coz that me was yours,
  All yours,
  And that me always will be,
  Don't hate me for moving on,
  Because you'll always own part of my heart,
  I miss you so much I can't even begin to explain,
  It hurts so much not to have you here with me,
  You held my hand,
  You made me strong,
  You made me smile,
  And you made me laugh,
  But the last thing you did was make me cry.

This poem is dedicated to Lewis Tilton!
Best Friend and Love Of My Life!
Rest In Peace!

I miss you

  I miss you more than you'll ever know,
  I miss you more than I can even express,
  I miss you so so much that I can feel my heart breaking,
  But no matter how much I miss you,
  I know I can never bring you back,
  We were best friends,
  We were in love,
  You were my sun,
  And my moon,
  You were the water I drank,
  You were the tree I sat under to keep cool,
  You were what kept me alive,
  Now I'm just an empty shell,
  With no life left inside,
  You made me laugh,
  Even when I was sad,
  And when I was crying you could always make me stop,
  With five little words,
  All you had to say was,
  "Don't make you're mascara run"
  It stopped me from crying,
  And made me laugh instead,
  Now I cry for you,
  And I feel like I'm letting you down,
  Are you up there now,
  In heaven,
  Repeating those five little words,
  Again and again,
  Each day.

This poem is dedicated to Lewis Tilton!
Best Friend and Love Of My Life!
Rest In Peace!!

You and your lies

  Sat alone,
  In the rain,
  I don't see,
  How you could do this to me again,
  How could I be so dumb to fall for your lies,
  When I've heard it all before,
  You've made the same old promises time and again,
  And every time I believe it's going to be different,
  Every time I fall for you,
  You and your lies,
  You make me feel so special,
  As if I'm a queen,
  You look at me as if I'm the most important person in the room,
  And when you hold me close you make me feel so warm,
  You say you'll always be there for me,
  You promise you'll never let me go,
  But you never keep your promises,
  I should know that by now,
  But then you look at me with your dark brown eyes,
  And you make me smile,
  Like you always used to,
  And so I fall for you all over again,
  And then you break my heart just like all the times before.

dear sweet death

  Nightmares and coldness,
  Shadowy faces,
  I'm lost in darkness,
  With no one to talk to,
  Nothing I recognize,
  That's what it's like to almost die,
  You leave behind your family,
  You forget about your friends,
  And no matter how hard you try, 
  The pain never ends,
  Your sadder than you were before,
  And the depressions much greater,
  You don't understand why you even tried,
  To commit suicide,
  I'm in a whirlpool,
  And going downhill,
  Then suddenly I'm snapped awake,
  I can see again,
  Life looks different now,
  Now I've seen what else there is,
  Death isn't so inviting now I know what lurks there,
  So I'll hold on to life and never let it go,
  I'll stick with my family,
  Because they are great,
  And I'll stay with my friends,
  Who even when they're not exactly here,
  Are still a comfort for my soul,
  See you later if I have to,
  But I won't be rushing up to you ever again,
  Until my time comes you'll just be a memory,
  My dear sweet,
  Death.

ripped apart

  Silently I sit alone,
  Wondering how you did it,
  I used to be so strong,
  Now I feel weak,
  And it's all because of you,
  All because of the shit you put me through,
  It saddens me to say this but,
  I still love you,
  You yanked my heart out of my chest,
  And broke it into a million pieces,
  Which you scattered on the ground,
  Then you stamped on them in your army boots,
  As you walked away,
  I never thought I could cry that hard,
  But then I never thought you'd leave me either,
  Guess I was wrong,
  Now without my heart,
  I feel like a ghost,
  As if I'm here,
  But I'm not here,
  And I know it's all your fault,
  Because you stole my heart ages ago,
  And never gave it back,
  Now I feel as if I'm dead,
  People see straight through me,
  They act like I'm not here,
  So maybe it's about time I wasn't here,
  Time for me to say goodbye,
  To the life I once had,
  The life you took as well as my heart,
  The day you ripped me apart

How you make me feel

  I need a name for this feeling,
  The feeling I get when you smile,
  I feel warm but cold at the same time,
  I don't know what to call it,
  The way you make me feel,
  From crap to goddess in a second,
  Or back again,
  Coz it all depends how you're feeling,
  Which you you are that day,
  The mean you,
  Will hurt me,
  Probably make me cry,
  You cause me so much heart break,
  But no matter what you do,
  I stick around for the good you,
  The one that holds my hand,
  as we lie in the park at night,
  You point at the stars, 
  And make up stories explaining what each one means,
  The good you smiles at me as if I'm the best thing in the world,
  This you makes me love the bad you,
  Coz I can see how you can be,
  Sweet and gentle,
  And so so kind,
  This is the you I love the most,
  The you that holds me close..

In my way

  He's in my way and he knows it,
  I try to be kind,
  Ask him nicely to move,
  But he just stands there,
  And now he's got a smug smile on his face,
  Coz he knows if I lay one finger on him,
  My dose will be upped,
  I'll have to see the old hag 5 times a week,
  I'll be back where I started,
  He takes one look at my face,
  He knows I know too,
  I grit my teeth,
  But ask politely if he'll please move out my way,
  Now his smile is even smugger,
  As he says "make me",
  He knows I can't,
  I know I can't,
  He's got me again,
  I look down at the ground and curse myself,
  Coz I have to walk away..